The Mental Load: Why You’re So Tired Even When You Haven’t Done Much
Ever feel exhausted at the end of the day, but when someone asks what you’ve done, you can’t really say much? You might think, “I haven’t done much today,” but still feel mentally drained.
This is the invisible burden known as the mental load — a constant background task of managing, organising, and remembering everything that keeps life running smoothly.
What Is the Mental Load?
The mental load refers to the ongoing planning and cognitive effort involved in managing daily life and relationships. It’s not just physical tasks but the emotional labour and decision-making behind the scenes.
Examples include:
- Remembering appointments, birthdays, and schedules
- Planning meals and grocery shopping
- Managing household chores and repairs
- Organising kids’ activities and school needs
- Emotional labour, like monitoring moods and managing conflicts
Who Carries the Mental Load?
Research shows that women, especially mothers and carers, disproportionately carry the mental load in households and workplaces. This invisible work often goes unrecognised and unrewarded, making it exhausting and frustrating.
Why Does the Mental Load Cause Fatigue?
Carrying the mental load means your brain is always “on,” juggling multiple responsibilities simultaneously. This chronic cognitive effort can lead to:
- Mental exhaustion without physical activity
- Difficulty concentrating or feeling “foggy”
- Increased stress and anxiety
- Feelings of overwhelm and irritability
How to Lighten Your Mental Load
- Share the Load
Communicate with family, partners, or coworkers about the invisible tasks you manage and ask for help or shared responsibility. - Use Tools and Systems
Calendars, apps, checklists, and reminders can offload mental effort and keep everyone informed. - Prioritise Self-Care
Make time for activities that recharge you, whether it’s exercise, hobbies, or rest. - Set Boundaries
Learn to say no and delegate when possible to avoid overload. - Seek Support
Talking to a therapist or counsellor can help you manage stress and develop coping strategies.
Final Thoughts
The mental load is real and draining — even if it’s invisible. Recognising it is the first step to reclaiming your energy and wellbeing.
If you’re feeling constantly exhausted despite “not doing much,” it might be time to check in with yourself and ask for the support you deserve.